The title "bitches get stitches" doesn't come without personal conviction.
the same phrase was written in my shower at my old house in orlando. except it said "bitches get stitches, cunts!"
when we were moving i tried painting over it about 25 times, but every time the paint dried, it would show through. so i guess the phrase is more powerful than we know. a tell tale piece of truth and wisdom for bitches all over the world.
The truth hurts for all bitches, cunts.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
niggaz
Today a sloppy looking lady walked towards me as I sat in the mall back hallway waiting to get let into the store I work at. Today, polite Polly is in town, so I greeted her with a nice, mellow "hello." She looked at me weird. She kept walking. She turned around.
LADY: "hey, do you know how to get to the Victoria's Secret back door?"
ME:(thinking) DO I EVER!!!!! I LIKE LOVE THAT PLACE DUH! AND THE PUN IS UNPUNISHABLE!
ME: (I.R.L.) "I think I could figure it out, come on."
ME:(thiinking) YA COS ANYONE COULD FIGURE IT OUT YOU DUMMY HEAD WITH A FREAKY MIDSECTION!
I leave my beloved bicycle in the ghost hallway for one second to walk her to the gayest store ever that I bought a cheetah push up bra from a few months ago. On the walk back, I see 4 black teenage boys run-walking and giggling from the door I came from. i sprinted through the door and found that my bike and everything was still there. I felt silly.
About an hour after being at work, I went to get my IPOD so I could listen to jams and block out the noisy air conditioner that hurts my sensitive ears. I reached for it and it was gone.
............................niggaz.
LADY: "hey, do you know how to get to the Victoria's Secret back door?"
ME:(thinking) DO I EVER!!!!! I LIKE LOVE THAT PLACE DUH! AND THE PUN IS UNPUNISHABLE!
ME: (I.R.L.) "I think I could figure it out, come on."
ME:(thiinking) YA COS ANYONE COULD FIGURE IT OUT YOU DUMMY HEAD WITH A FREAKY MIDSECTION!
I leave my beloved bicycle in the ghost hallway for one second to walk her to the gayest store ever that I bought a cheetah push up bra from a few months ago. On the walk back, I see 4 black teenage boys run-walking and giggling from the door I came from. i sprinted through the door and found that my bike and everything was still there. I felt silly.
About an hour after being at work, I went to get my IPOD so I could listen to jams and block out the noisy air conditioner that hurts my sensitive ears. I reached for it and it was gone.
............................niggaz.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
you only call when it's last call
When you really know somebody, you get to know the different characters within their personality. The sensitive sammy, the wild willy, the studious senor snead, the fun frank, the classy clarence, the insensitive icabod, the sexy sallie, the lovable larry david, the abusive alan, and of course, the drunken dickhead. All of these characters have different voices and behaviors. Drunken Dickhead likes to call me a lot when it's really late after lovable larry david has already gone to bed and studious senor snead is in the study with a fine cigar. When I'm curled up in bed with kitty and whale, exhausted from the day, I get calls from D.D. The thing about D.D. is that no matter how much he denies his identity, I know it's him. There is a tight, snappy sound to the speech, and a little dry mouth thrown in there like the lips don't close completely between words. between hurtful words. GO AWAY D.D.!!!!! I wanna chill with fun frank!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Epifanny
The only thing that sucks about wearing thongs is farting and taking craps.
these things just come to me.
these things just come to me.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
like i care anyways
I got up at 8am today for the 5th time this week and rode my bike to the mall. It's about 7 miles away. It's the same mall that I used to pick my little sister up from when she would be on bars. Same mall she got fingered at for the first time by her first boyfriend, hot chinese. If you would have told me 5 years ago that at some time in the future I would be spending over 40 hrs a week working at this mall I would have probably slapped you and told you to fuck off. But that is the cold hard truth now. i sit in a cave all day and listen to music and play with clothes. I have come to despise clothing. It makes me sick. I wipe boogers on the clothes often. And then I check a few days later to see if they are still there.
Thank you american apparel for underpaying me and undermining me.
This is where the song "I've got to break free" comes in.
Going clubbing(ya, I am such a clubbin fool) with the girls from the store tonight. And the owner of the company.
i hope no one fucks him. But I'm sure they all would. I used to joke around and say I would, just because I thought it was so out there and the opportunity would never present itself. But last week, when he was googly eyeing all of us and taking pictures, the opportunity seemed more present than ever. i feel sick and sweaty and really really hot, but not in an "ooo baby way." I need substances.
Thank you american apparel for underpaying me and undermining me.
This is where the song "I've got to break free" comes in.
Going clubbing(ya, I am such a clubbin fool) with the girls from the store tonight. And the owner of the company.
i hope no one fucks him. But I'm sure they all would. I used to joke around and say I would, just because I thought it was so out there and the opportunity would never present itself. But last week, when he was googly eyeing all of us and taking pictures, the opportunity seemed more present than ever. i feel sick and sweaty and really really hot, but not in an "ooo baby way." I need substances.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
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